When is Affection No Longer Appropriate?

I got a haircut. I look like I’m about to join the service.

It was so cute to see my goddaughter’s tiny feet against mine. There will be a day when it is no longer appropriate for her to sit on my lap.

There will always be a day. Sad to think how my father must’ve felt. One day, I just felt weird when he touched me and I would shy away. He was never sexually abusive. I was just self-conscious about anything sexual – not knowing the difference between parental affection and carnal acts. I feel very lucky that Feigao still lets me hold his hand. Both him and Tracy still let me hold their hands. Both are eight and should be over it already. “Just one more year,” I tell myself. “Give me one more year where I can be affectionate without being branded as a pedophile.” The rift of affection between my father and I is so great that I can barely muster brushing him on his back. The only time I have enough guts to demonstrate any normal affection is hugging him after being away from home for over a week. How lonely is it for my parents to neither receive any affection from each other nor from their only son?

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