I read my post on “Communal Repentence,” and was struck by how the Holy Spirit changed me since then. I wrote that God didn’t want my external sacrifices, but my internal ones. My interior life had to change, and it has — thank the Holy Spirit!
I pray the rosary every day, now. I’ll do at least a decade as a part of the Living Rosary group, but I often receive the grace to pray all the mysteries for the day. My spiritual reading helps me grow. I’m currently reading “Interior Castle” by St. Teresa of Avila. The Holy Spirit is opening up my eyes through St. Teresa’s words.
The stress that I felt when I wrote that entry in late-February is now gone. I find myself taking more time to ask my co-workers how they are doing, and spending time to counsel them if it seems like they needs someone to talk to.
I can’t say that I’m getting holy, but I certainly feel grace. I can feel my soul open up a little more to God. My ego still resists, and quite often my human weakness gets the better of me. I would spend two hours or more watching a TV show or movie on Netflix instead of doing things that are better for me (i.e. praying, reading, practicing taijiquan, or drawing, etc.) It’s okay. I need to be gentle and let God do the work. Awareness of my human weakness is what’s required. It’ll help me be humble to know that I will fail without the Holy Spirit.
I praise and thank you, Lord, for helping me come back to this journal. It gives me so much joy to know that You are okay with this. Thank You for not giving up on Your creatures, even though we actively rebel and disappoint You. I love you and am grateful for Your mercy. Please help me continue writing and praying. Help me be more charitable and more aware of people’s needs. Give me the strength to act lovingly when I am aware of their needs. I ask this through Jesus Christ, Your only Son. Amen. Glory be…