There are days when a person is thinking a lot and has just as much to say, but does not have the words to express it.  He’s just not in the writing mood.  I’m not in the writing mood.

My best friend is getting married in January.  I am very, very happy for her.  She has been dating her fiance for quite some time, now.  I have been waiting for quite some time for this ceremony.  So, there is no way that I’m going to miss it.  Which means I may very well forgo my five week trip to Shanghai.  I was really hoping I could go, but there is just no way I can miss that wedding.

L and I have been talking about it ourselves.  When a date is not set, being married seems like a distant prospect.  When there is a definite time frame… it’s not so distant afterall.  Could I… will I… am I ready… is this what cold feet feels like?  Haha…

I always worried about whether I would have enough money for my wedding.  Chinese weddings are lavish and quite ceremonial.  All of that costs a lot of money.  I’m neck deep in student loans.  I have a car loan.  I want to save for my first house.  I have no income!  What the hell am I thinking?

Solution: the parents.  We’ll see about that.  I’m sure both of our parents are willing to help, but I was hoping to pay for ourselves.  I’ll talk it over with ’em and see what they think.  Goodness… I can imagine what my parents may be thinking, “Our only son – he’s going to get married!  Grandchildren!  He’s not gay!  Thank the lord!  Finally, some woman will make him get rid of that silly man-purse that he always wears!”  Haha… if they only know what goes on behind closed doors, they would never doubt their son’s sexuality again.  Ha!

My, my… it’s late.  I should be going to bed early these days.  But, here I am, pushing along.  No wonder I get exhausted.  Damn.  I still need to get new tennis shoes.  God damn Canadians.

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  1. I generally avoid commenting on ournal entries that pertain to marriage as a general rule (or as a matter of being paralyzed by fear, whichever you like), but I just have to say this…

    Hold that man-purse high!

    That is all

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